Genius Mix, iTunes.

Genius Mix on iTunes is such a genius! I swear. It makes everything super duper easy :) To people who hasn't "turned on" their genius mix's, please do. I've been using it a lot lately. I love it. To people who doesn't know what it is, well genius mix actually forms playlists for you. Songs that are quite similar are put in the same playlist. It's pure genius. I wonder how it does it. To people who don't use iTunes, dude, go download la! It's awethum :3

Katy Perry, Teenage Dream Album.

Now this album is the shiz. It's awesome. I've never been a main stream type of girl, but lately, idk, I guess the radio's really getting to me. Haha. So the songs in this album to me is a very Summer-like soundtrack kind of album. Well, some of the songs at least. It's a very fun, teenage love album. When I listen to this album it kinda makes me feel like I have a sucky teenage life and I know I'm going to regret it. Haha. Now my favorites in this album would be Teenage Dream and Last Friday Night. Gah, I absolutely LOVE Last Friday Night. I want my Friday's to be like that. Hahah.


"Yeah we danced on table tops, and we took too many shots, think we kissed but I forgot". -Last Friday Night.

EDIT/: Now that I have listened to the album more I come to realise it's mostly about looking back in the past. The songs are mainly about thinking about highschool days and teenage puppy love and such.

Album Track List;

Teenage Dream, Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.), California Gurls (feat. Snoop Dogg), Firework, Peacock, WhoAm I Living For?, The One That Got Away, E.T., Circle The Drain, Pearl, Hummingbird Heartbeat, Not Like The Movies.

Album ratings: 3 ☆

The past.

Thinking about the past is quite amusing. I've been thinking a lot about the future that when I actually started to think about the past just now, it made me feel .. uneasy? I'm not sure what it made me feel but I don't think I like it. The things I've done in the past, the things I've been through, some makes me ask myself,

"What the bleeding hell were you thinking, Nana?".

I quite miss it though. The old group of friends, tennis everyday, tuition every night, the tournaments, everything. But I'm pretty content with where I'm at now. I'm feeling a little lost, but I'm okay.

Tickle by Eyes Lips Eyes.

This is such a nice indie happy song! I came across this song a couple of weeks a go and I absolutely love it! I'm just waiting to do a longboarding video with this song as the background. Well, lets wait for me to learn new tricks so my longboarding is video worthy! After the Ramadhans, I'll get myself to learn more tricks! :)

Catcher in the rye by JD Salinger

Now, this is an american classic. A book every kid should read. Another bildungsroman story. What does bildungsroman mean? Its just a word to describe a coming of age story. Now, this book pretty much sums up a teenager. It's filled with confusion, angst, sexuality, alienation, and rebellion. Which best describes teenagers, right?

This book was written in the 50's and it is about a teenage boy name Holden Caulfield whom decides to rebel. Now this book has been debated on whether or not it is suitable for young readers due to its profanity and portrayal of sexuality and teenage angst. In the story, Holden also duels in finding who he really is and where he stands in this world.

It was weird actually reading this book, because I could relate so much to the main character, Holden. The feeling of not belonging and the endless thought of just giving up.

To sum it up, it's a really good book to read.

"I feel sorry as hell..." to the people who did not read this as they were growing up.
(The quoted phrase is a phrase used A LOT by the main character in this book)

...oh and he also calls everybody a "phony". And I do mean EVERYONE. Fine, most.

The language used in this book is very .. relatable. Quite a few vulgar words here and there, though. Haha.

What the future holds.

The movie, Inception. I loved the movie.

I just generally like the whole idea of having a whole other world you create and can escape to. Right now this concept of escaping into a dream may seem fiction and imposible, but think about it, people have been escaping reality for years now with the help of the internet. People are able to fully escape reality and live by only with the help of the internet. The time is gonna come when people don't even leave their house! Everything's done online and when that happens, it'll be just the same as escaping into a dream because through the cyber world, one can fake their whole lives and get away with it. You can make yourself to be whatever you want to be.

The future is an abstract from where we're looking at it, therefore the saying of, anything can happen tomorrow. A lot of people has written their theories and their guesses of what will become of the world in the future. I recently read Fahrenheit 451, a book written in the 50's by Ray Bradbury. This book is about Ray Bradbury's take on how the future would be like. He wrote of a world where books were banned and a fireman's job were to burn books. A world where everything was about a screen that filled up a whole wall and this screen could be interacted by a human. (In the book they learn, connect with other people all through this wall. Which is like Skype + a flat screen tv and well now days, there's pretty much a tv programme for anything you wanna learn!) A world where humans were unable to think for themselves.

Funny thing about this theory is, in the 50's this idea of the future was probably unthinkable. People then probably thought this was imposible. But I being a reader of the present has doubts of this book, this theory never becoming reality. I truthfully think this theory that Rad Bradbury has written about in the 50's could be our reality in a couple of years ahead in the future.

Now this is why, I hate thinking of the future.

I jumped way out of topic. Haha. Stupid, Nana.

Throwing babies fiesta.

Hello! So, recently my family found three kittens in the garden and couldn't bare just leaving them outside. So we bought a cage and special kitten milk. The plan was to keep them till we found someone else who wanted kittens. But its been about two weeks now and my parents seems so attached to the kittens already -.- They're very stupid though, they sleep in the litter box. Haha, stupid kittens.

Anyway, I wanna make a point here, even with kittens, my parents couldn't find the heart to just leave them outside in the garden, and there's people who can throw their babies? A freaking living, breathing, little baby. A baby that you've put up with for 9 months! -and you just throw them? In the dumpster? In the drain? In the toilet bowl?! The least you could have done was leave the baby in a church/mosque/wherever where you know there will be people who'd take care of the poor unfortunate baby!

Thing is, did everyone have sex in the month of December of last year? Or new years sex or something? Its like suddenly this month's full of baby thrown away in odd places reports in the papers.

Honestly though, what kind of person would be able to do that? To throw a baby in such places. It's just inhuman.

The world's becoming a scary place to live in.

It's scary to think how humans like that lives amongst us. What if slowly we all become like them? Slowly the humans of the world become less and less human. When we start to lack human qualities of compassion and mercy.

What a world it would be :)

It's like a disease spreading. Instead of us becoming zombies like in those horror movies, we become less human.

Merdeka 2010.

Merdeka. I think we're losing the meaning of it and we're taking things for granted. Taking this easiness of life for granted. And sadly no subject we learn, no song we sing, no essay we write will remind us of the hardship because, WE did not go through it. As much as everyone wants us to celebrate this day of independence with patriotisme, I don't think it'll happen. Satu Malaysia. Sure, it's a great vision but will this vision become reality? Will one day, all of us be able to put our race aside? We're all racist to a certain extent. It's just the way it is and I dont think that'll ever stop. Maybe it'll get better gradually through time, maybe. But, what's this I hear on the radio about how Malaysia isn't racist and how we're SATU MALAYSIA. When our country has had controversial race issues? I just think we're going way over the top with this Malaysia-is-so-good-we-are-not-racist motto. :)

But, hey, Satu Malaysia, if it can be reality, that'll be great. I do support it but I just think its not gonna happen anytime soon.

What I want.

I've been watching Make It or Break It, and seriously, i'm hooked! The way the girls train and have something to work for, just really amazes me. I wish I felt as passionate towards something as them. Watching the show reminds me of tennis. It's just that, it must be nice to know what you want and really work for it. The way they train, omg. Its so fun :(

X.

Figured everything out?

As a teenager, I can't help to wonder about my future. Lately, it's probably the most thought of thing for me. I've been planning, researching. I've seem to have everything, well for the most part at least figured out. I can't help to wonder though, will everything work out as planned or will an unexpected event occur to change my decisions?

At times, I guess it's also scary to think of the future. We don't really know what we're getting ourselves into -but then again, that sometimes could be very exciting too. I mean, if everything was planned out and if we knew our story cover to cover, where's the fun in that?

I'm only a 16 year old and others may think I'm getting way over my head here planning for the future, but I think it's important to set our priorities straight and really choose which direction would lead us to as much happiness.

All I know is, i'm pretty much excited for what the future holds for me.

THE LIST :O

1. A Baby-G watch ! (purple)
2. Clothes from Element
3. Vans skate shoes.
4. Black Wayfarers, Raybans
5. Ukelele
6. A longboard. Original Skateboards Apex 34, please?
7. New pair of hightop shoes.
8. Guitar string bracelets
9. I WANT AN IPAD :(
10. Blackberry 8520 dark purple
11. MacBook Pro
12. A DSLR
13. A new brownish handbag
14. Acrylic paint
15. Shorts and band tee's
16. I want to paste things on my walls. They seem quite bare.
17. Im going to get a moleskine year planner next year. idk why im adding this to the list.

Please, mom.

Its a Sunday night. As usual, I'm having this HOLYSHITTHERE'SSCHOOLTOMORROW feeling. I really, really, really hate it. I don't really know why I hate school so much. I wished school was more laid back. Maybe like college or something. School is just way too uptight for a place to be studying. So many subjects too. Form four is just stupid. Fucking 10 subjects. And unlike PMR, they're all fucking important. Which makes it all too hard to study :( Hmmf. I'm going to literally end up getting kicked out of science class. Sigh. i'm thinking of dropping chem. What do you think?

Anyway, yesterday was the ballet concert. I messed up a lot. But it was an awesome night none the less. Today, I woke up and got ready, ate, and went to Eng Zyan's party. No comment how it was. I basically just lepak in his room with Adib and KC. Lol.

School. School. School. Fuck it.

If you could be a number.

Regrets. What is “regret”? It’s one of the many emotions humas go through. Regret is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviours. Regret is often related to the feeling of sadness, shame, embarrassment, depression, annoyance, or simply- guilt.

I’m pretty sure everyone at one point or anything has gone through the feeling of regret. Regret in my opinion is one of the worst emotions of them all. The feeling of wishing, wanting, hoping to be able to go back into time to undo a mistake which obviously is inevitable.

Like every other thing in life, regret comes in all sizes. The bigger the mistake you have done, well, the bigger your regret. Regrets are usually only triggered once your mistake is over and done with. When that glass that once used to be whole shatters into million pieces. When suddenly all you can think of was that second, minute, hour- that moment that you decided to do something that you’d regret for the rest of your life. With every heart beat and ever step you take the guilt and misery is reminded.

Now when the regret is that big, this is when the poor troubled teen decides to cut the misery short by using the oldest solution in the book. –Committing suicide.

Now, we don’t want that now do we folks?

So how does one overcome this sad emotion? How does one win the battle with regret?

Well first things first. You have to forgive yourself and make amends. Assure yourself that you have learned from the mistake and won’t be stupid enough to repeat history. Second thing, you have to be willing to accept the circumstances. Avoid blaming others but rather take the responsibility for anything that you could have handled. Now next, you have to deal with toxic relationships. Sometimes other people are the cause of us to be in such depth of regret. So patch things up and once again, learn to forgive. Lastly, you have to grieve for your regrets. When we feel regret, we re-live the guilt, sadness or anger over and over again. Allowing ourselves to experience these feelings fully with the intention of moving forward can help us revisiting them.

Regret. Once again, like every other thing in life, it can be beaten. All you need is a little guidance, acceptance and will power.

Fuck, i wish it was that easy.

Not good.

I think I'm an emo child this year.

Parents are pretty much freaking out at how much I'm not studying this year. Bad year to suddenly stop caring, Nana. Honestly! It's form four. Sigh.

Dear Nana,
Please care.

Anyway,

Where are you? :(

For all the broken hearted's out there.

I feel lost. Lost than ever before. Maybe this is part of growing up?

Yesterday while I was writing an essay having to describe a little about myself, I came to realize that I had nothing to write. Everything I would have normally wrote about myself was no longer valid since I've already given up on it. I couldn't find a single thing worth writing about myself.

I spent three hours starring at the empty paper thinking of what to write. It was a pretty simple task, really. Write about yourself. What could possibly be so hard, Nana?, I thought to myself.

So I began writing. I wrote my Name and age. What else would I write now? I sat down thinking to myself. Probably something describing me. So then my mind thought of what described me best. The first thing that came to my mind was sports. I've always been into sports. One sport in particular, tennis. So I wrote about tennis, then I came to realize that I no longer did tennis. So I scratched that out.

Next, i thought, oh maybe music. Then, oh wait, no. No music.

Okay, maybe studies. Wait no, my studies are horrible this year.

Dance. Yes dance. Ballet. But I didn't feel like writing it cause I knew I wasn't very good at ballet and don't really give it much thought.

I became frustrated. Frustrated at myself for giving up on everything. Because now, I have no idea what describes me anymore. I had no I dea what to write.

So fuck it. I don't know who I am.

I feel like I haven't achieved anything in my 16 years of life. Great.

Arts, photography, sports, books, music, dance without a doubt still inspires me. But the only thing is, instead of pursuing in doing these things, I'm slacking off at home.

Boo 16 year old Nana.

Tennis.

I've come to realize that I miss tennis. I miss the tournaments. The people. The waiting. The training. The losing. The want of rain so I dont have to play tennis. Ugh. I miss it. :( I wish I could start back.. but It's merely pointless. Idk. Maybe I will. Idk :)

What do you want to be when you grow up, Nana?

Bila Nana besar nanti, Nana nak jadi writer. Nana nak jadi photographer. Nana nak jadi magazine art director. Nana nak jadi kaya. Nana nak jadi sihat walafiat. Nana nak jadi seorang yang baik hati then pemurah. Nana tak nak sesat jalan dan ke arah tak bagus. Nana nak ada banyak kawan. Nana harap kawan kawan karib Nana skrg, nanti dalam masa depan masih kawan karib Nana. Nana nak kahwin bila besar. Nana nak ada anak. Nana nak sambung belajar di luar negara. Nana nak ke seluruh negara. Nana nak buat nama untuk diri sendiri. Nana bila besar nanti nak main tennis lagi. Nana tak nak merokok. Nana tak nak minum arak. Nana tak nak.. uh yeah :P

THE END :) YAYYY

Love poison

Hello! :) So I'll be going to Perlis tomorrow till the 11th. See you then! Heh. I like the picture above! The lighting looks epiccc. Okay, maybe not so, but... yeah. :\

So me and Aisyah are going to NYC in the future. Yes, we will. And no, not LA. HEEEE.

She's talking to me through the FB chat. How annoying! Its goes bloop! every time she says something :p

ANYWAY, there's pretty much nothing to blog about.

klahbyeeee.

X

Lets sing love songs in the rain.

Okay, so hey :) Mid Year Examinations has been over for about two weeks now. Haven't really gone to school since, so I don't really know how's my results, and frankly I can't be fucked. Cause I know it ain't good! :) Oh well, that's what happens when you don't study right? Lesson learnt, lets move on. So, this week is the MSSM training. It's held at Titiwangsa this year instead of the usual- at Jalan Duta. Anyway, this year's MSSM is hosted by Perlis. Sigh. Nothing much there. :\ Not quite excited. I have my reasons.

So I've finished 3 books in a week. Can't seem to go through my fourth one. Been having these headaches and stuff. Or maybe I'm just not in the mood anymore? Whatever, I better finish the fourth book BEFORE this Saturday so I can buy two new ones :) Heh.

<3

Shooting the moon.

Hello there loves. :)

It's definitely been awhile. So lets update! Not much have happened, really. I recently went to Hartamas' carnival. Met lots of familiar faces and it was nice. Went there without actually planning with anyone. Got out of the car, and Imran was walking pass me. So yeah, pretty much hung out with him the whole day. Him and other form three's. Katrina :P Meow.

I'm going through exams. And it's been horrible. I'm slipping back to 2008. Form two. Didn't study at all. This is definitely NOT good. I will hop on my study mood train (wtf) soon. Probably in a few weeks. Haha.

I'm currently missing lots of people and lots of memories. Especially the SKBD days and Hartamas days. I miss you guys. People I use to hang out with at Hartamas. I feel like we're merely acquaintance now. And during the carnival I really did wanna like hang with you guys, but you guys gave me this awkwardness aura and I just didn't feel like i fit in anymore. I mean how could I right? After a year + absence. Sigh. I just never though we'd be such strangers after everything we've been through. You guys know who you are. If you guys are reading this, I just want you guys to know, I miss you :) And mari kita berlepak and catch up, yes? You have my number. :)

Moving on, I WANT A KIN 1. Haha. :)

Oh, and, lifes been okay. Not bad nor that good. It's ... stable. Haha.

Can't wait for mid years to end! I want to go out :)

<3

Nana.