Death

Ever since we were old enough our parents has told us that one day, we will face death. Everyone dies. That's just the way it is, our parents would tell us when we'd question them why. Though I guess then, we didn't really understand the meaning or the impact of death because we wouldn't really feel the grief of losing someone cause we weren't really attached to anyone... yet.

Death. Heaven. Hell. Something we are all fully aware of. I guess every religion believes in this? -or most? I'm not sure. The only thing thats different in every religion is how you achieve in getting to heaven. What you have to do in order to be able to be accepted in heaven.

"Everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die".

I read that somewhere and that quote is spot on. But why are we all afraid of death? Probably because we don't know what is to happen to us after death.

I know I will die one day. I know that. - but yet I can't imagine myself.. dead. Where will I be? What state would I be in? Will I still remember everything..? Will I feel lonely? Because I don't have anyone there? ... so many questions that definitely can't be answered by anyone. Which I guess what makes death so scary for me. It's totally an unknown subject to anyone.

Sure, it is briefly explained on where one will go after death in the al-quran. But.. it's not specific, there's still that little bit of doubt.

Everyone thinks their religion is the RIGHT religion. But how do you know for sure? For example in my religion it is stated that non muslims go straight to hell and has no chance of getting in heaven. Which is a bit over the top don't you think? What if that person is a GENUINELY a good person, what, just because that person isn't a muslim, that person is sent straight to hell to mingle with rapists and people who are down right evil?

It isn't their fault they're not a muslim. They weren't born a muslim. If I wasn't born a muslim, I don't think I would have converted. Truthfully speaking because I wouldn't think twice about researching about the religion because I would have thought MY religion that I was born with was the right religion. Like I am thinking now.

Sigh.

Yes these are the kinda things that goes through my mind half of the time.

LETS LONGBOARD!

MAMBU IS FINALLY HERE. MAKE AN ORDER AND GET YOUR OWN BOARD NOW. SEND AND EMAIL TO mambuboards@gmail.com TO PLACE AND ORDER OF WHICH BOARD YOU WANT :D

Somethings wrong with me.

I read, hear people write, talk about how they love their life and how they want time to stop so they can just stay where they are and i'm like w t f. I'm jealous of these people. These people who are so content with their life they wouldn't mind just. staying. there. Me? I'd do anything for time to pass by quickly. Sigh. I'm so confused for next year. Am I changing schools? Am i gonna start to study? jhgfdsrewij! Thinking about the future stresses me. Thinking about NOW stresses me out even more! I don't like where I am right now and I want time to pass quickly to a time where I would want time to stop. I'd like to just "go with the flow", which is what I've been trying to do but, I just simply can't. I find myself asking so many questions and wondering about things I know I shouldn't if I wanna just "go with the glow".

Sigh. Suck it up, Nana. You're just... going through a slump? :\ Haih.

2011, I pray to god you'll be better. Or.. maybe after finals, everything will turn out to be okay?

-But see thats the thing. Nothing significant happened to me that would make my life not okay. Like death of a family member, or anything. Nothing is bad. In theory, my life should be just dandy. But yet I feel so miserable.

Everything's okay. So why don't I feel okay?

Santa Claus's list.

We live in a world that constantly confuses me. We live in a world with humans in it. Lots of humans. People. People who tend to like to categorize things. Even ourselves. In terms of religion, race, sex, etc.

There is no harm in categorizing, don't get me wrong. But is it necessary to judge BY these categories?

Why can't we be judged -if we have to be judged. , individually? Cause are we not all individuals of different behaviors and state of mind?

For ones mistake, the whole lot gets blamed. The whole lot suffers the consequences. WHY? Because theyre're categorized in the same "group". Therefore they all must be the same.

Stereotypical. Why do people think like this?

When we talk about a person we somehow connect it to their religion, race, sex, etc.

"Muslims are terrorist". (I'm just using this as an example because this is what got me thinking to write about this).

Wtf. Just because there are muslims who are terrorist must you call ALL muslims terrorists? How is that fucking possible? In all races, religion, sex there are GOOD AND BAD people.

I wish people could think like Santa Claus. In his list all he cares about is whether youre GOOD or BAD. No matter what race, religion, sex or whatever. Can you imagine if he takes race, religion or even sex in accounts to his list? That'd be fucked up.

I'm pretty sure god works the same way. Or at least I hope so. All that matters is whether youre genuinely a good person who does good.

Good or bad. That's all that counts.

Where your heart really is.

Not long a go, one of my teachers told my class and I that we shouldn't give money to people who asks for money (beggars). Why? Because she said it's most probably a scam. I've heard a lot of these warnings before and honestly i'm baffled at the thought of it.

When someone who claims to be a less fortunate person comes and asks for money and you can afford to spare a few bucks for him, WHY THE HELL NOT? Why do you have to be skeptical? IF he's lying, how would you know? You won't.

Why think about the fact that the guy could be a scammer? What do you lose? The same amount of money that you would lose if he wasn't a scammer. Why can't you just help the guy and give him the benefit of the doubt.

If he's lying, -this is gonna sound like i'm so religious, haha. , then let him face it with god when the time comes.

As far as you know, you helped a guy. So feel all warm and fuzzy cause you did a good deed.

Why do we have to be so skeptical? Till the extent that we send warning emails to NOT give money to beggars because they could be scammers.

Benefit of the doubt, people. Benefit of the doubt.

Queen, Absolute Greatest Album.

I have been listening to this album, A LOT. Thanks to some cat I know. But yeah, thanks kitty, cause now I'm pretty much obsessed with this album. I don't seem to get bored with their songs.

Favorites from this album: Radio Gaga, Under pressure, Somebody to Love, Bohemian Rhapsody and Don't stop me now.

Not much I can say about this album since, I'm pretty sure all of you guys are familiar with how are their songs are usually like. Very Dramatical.

Album ratings: 5 ☆

Here we go again.

I don't think I can not have a blog. For as long as I can remember, I've always had a blog. Of course my blog started out to be a "what I did today" sort of blog. Gradually though, I realized I had more to say and write about other than what I did on that day. But I still do those sorts of posts on certain days when I feel like it. Sometimes I write about such serious and personal matters  that I never post them because I simply don't have the guts to do it. Afraid people might know the real me. But maybe I will. Someday. My blog is like my bed. My comfort zone. A place I know that will always be there when I need it :)

Gullibility

The internet is HUGE. Yes, you can get a lot of information from it, but you can't really believe EVERYTHING you read on the internet because basically anyone can write anything, whether it being the truth or not. So if I tend to not believe you when you tell me things cause you "read it on the internet", don't be surprise. You say Malaysians aren't aware of whats happening in their own country. What? Because we don't believe everything thats written in a forwarded email? You say we're ignorant because we don't use the internet for the right purposes. How about you? Aren't you being ignorant and gullible by believing everything you get through forwarded emails? I mean come on. I may be wrong to a certain extent. But I also know I'm right to a certain extent.

Proficiency in English.

English. Some are fluent in english and others, not so. But I think it's wrong for people to discriminate people with bad english. Just because you're better in english doesn't mean you're any better of a person. I read peoples formspring and when a person with bad english asks a question the owner of the formspring will reply with such mean remarks on the persons english. The fact that you are better in english do not mean you have the rights to discriminate them. Because there are much more people with better english than you yourself. If you wanna correct their mistakes, fine. No need for, "Nice english.", "Where'd you learn your english?", etc. It may seem like i'm being a hypocrite for writing this, for I have probably done all of them above, but I'm here to say I've come to realise this and no more will I do it. Cause I see it's stupid and mean. Plus, my english isn't even good. So who am I to judge others? :)

Lets longboard!

So if youre feeling like taking up a new sport just for fun, maybe you should try longboarding?! :D It's a fun sport, really. Wanna know more about it? Just search for longboarding videos on youtube, and i'm sure you'll guys wanna start longboarding yourselves. Well thats how I wanted to start longboarding. Through youtube videos -.- Haha, I was obsessed with trying to longboard. Thanks to the videos and my brothers obsession too.

So anyway, my brother and his friend is starting up a longboarding business. Mambu longboards. Their mission is "To promote longboarding and to become the leading provider in Malaysia". Basically they provide some pretty cheap deals for a longboard. Cause, it's actually pretty hard to get longboards here in Malaysia. But have no fear, Mambu Longboards are here. Haha. *sigh. So yeah, visit their Facebook page.

Here's the video that made me want to start longboarding :p One of the first from many, that is.

Genius Mix, iTunes.

Genius Mix on iTunes is such a genius! I swear. It makes everything super duper easy :) To people who hasn't "turned on" their genius mix's, please do. I've been using it a lot lately. I love it. To people who doesn't know what it is, well genius mix actually forms playlists for you. Songs that are quite similar are put in the same playlist. It's pure genius. I wonder how it does it. To people who don't use iTunes, dude, go download la! It's awethum :3

Katy Perry, Teenage Dream Album.

Now this album is the shiz. It's awesome. I've never been a main stream type of girl, but lately, idk, I guess the radio's really getting to me. Haha. So the songs in this album to me is a very Summer-like soundtrack kind of album. Well, some of the songs at least. It's a very fun, teenage love album. When I listen to this album it kinda makes me feel like I have a sucky teenage life and I know I'm going to regret it. Haha. Now my favorites in this album would be Teenage Dream and Last Friday Night. Gah, I absolutely LOVE Last Friday Night. I want my Friday's to be like that. Hahah.


"Yeah we danced on table tops, and we took too many shots, think we kissed but I forgot". -Last Friday Night.

EDIT/: Now that I have listened to the album more I come to realise it's mostly about looking back in the past. The songs are mainly about thinking about highschool days and teenage puppy love and such.

Album Track List;

Teenage Dream, Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.), California Gurls (feat. Snoop Dogg), Firework, Peacock, WhoAm I Living For?, The One That Got Away, E.T., Circle The Drain, Pearl, Hummingbird Heartbeat, Not Like The Movies.

Album ratings: 3 ☆

The past.

Thinking about the past is quite amusing. I've been thinking a lot about the future that when I actually started to think about the past just now, it made me feel .. uneasy? I'm not sure what it made me feel but I don't think I like it. The things I've done in the past, the things I've been through, some makes me ask myself,

"What the bleeding hell were you thinking, Nana?".

I quite miss it though. The old group of friends, tennis everyday, tuition every night, the tournaments, everything. But I'm pretty content with where I'm at now. I'm feeling a little lost, but I'm okay.

Tickle by Eyes Lips Eyes.

This is such a nice indie happy song! I came across this song a couple of weeks a go and I absolutely love it! I'm just waiting to do a longboarding video with this song as the background. Well, lets wait for me to learn new tricks so my longboarding is video worthy! After the Ramadhans, I'll get myself to learn more tricks! :)

Catcher in the rye by JD Salinger

Now, this is an american classic. A book every kid should read. Another bildungsroman story. What does bildungsroman mean? Its just a word to describe a coming of age story. Now, this book pretty much sums up a teenager. It's filled with confusion, angst, sexuality, alienation, and rebellion. Which best describes teenagers, right?

This book was written in the 50's and it is about a teenage boy name Holden Caulfield whom decides to rebel. Now this book has been debated on whether or not it is suitable for young readers due to its profanity and portrayal of sexuality and teenage angst. In the story, Holden also duels in finding who he really is and where he stands in this world.

It was weird actually reading this book, because I could relate so much to the main character, Holden. The feeling of not belonging and the endless thought of just giving up.

To sum it up, it's a really good book to read.

"I feel sorry as hell..." to the people who did not read this as they were growing up.
(The quoted phrase is a phrase used A LOT by the main character in this book)

...oh and he also calls everybody a "phony". And I do mean EVERYONE. Fine, most.

The language used in this book is very .. relatable. Quite a few vulgar words here and there, though. Haha.

What the future holds.

The movie, Inception. I loved the movie.

I just generally like the whole idea of having a whole other world you create and can escape to. Right now this concept of escaping into a dream may seem fiction and imposible, but think about it, people have been escaping reality for years now with the help of the internet. People are able to fully escape reality and live by only with the help of the internet. The time is gonna come when people don't even leave their house! Everything's done online and when that happens, it'll be just the same as escaping into a dream because through the cyber world, one can fake their whole lives and get away with it. You can make yourself to be whatever you want to be.

The future is an abstract from where we're looking at it, therefore the saying of, anything can happen tomorrow. A lot of people has written their theories and their guesses of what will become of the world in the future. I recently read Fahrenheit 451, a book written in the 50's by Ray Bradbury. This book is about Ray Bradbury's take on how the future would be like. He wrote of a world where books were banned and a fireman's job were to burn books. A world where everything was about a screen that filled up a whole wall and this screen could be interacted by a human. (In the book they learn, connect with other people all through this wall. Which is like Skype + a flat screen tv and well now days, there's pretty much a tv programme for anything you wanna learn!) A world where humans were unable to think for themselves.

Funny thing about this theory is, in the 50's this idea of the future was probably unthinkable. People then probably thought this was imposible. But I being a reader of the present has doubts of this book, this theory never becoming reality. I truthfully think this theory that Rad Bradbury has written about in the 50's could be our reality in a couple of years ahead in the future.

Now this is why, I hate thinking of the future.

I jumped way out of topic. Haha. Stupid, Nana.

Throwing babies fiesta.

Hello! So, recently my family found three kittens in the garden and couldn't bare just leaving them outside. So we bought a cage and special kitten milk. The plan was to keep them till we found someone else who wanted kittens. But its been about two weeks now and my parents seems so attached to the kittens already -.- They're very stupid though, they sleep in the litter box. Haha, stupid kittens.

Anyway, I wanna make a point here, even with kittens, my parents couldn't find the heart to just leave them outside in the garden, and there's people who can throw their babies? A freaking living, breathing, little baby. A baby that you've put up with for 9 months! -and you just throw them? In the dumpster? In the drain? In the toilet bowl?! The least you could have done was leave the baby in a church/mosque/wherever where you know there will be people who'd take care of the poor unfortunate baby!

Thing is, did everyone have sex in the month of December of last year? Or new years sex or something? Its like suddenly this month's full of baby thrown away in odd places reports in the papers.

Honestly though, what kind of person would be able to do that? To throw a baby in such places. It's just inhuman.

The world's becoming a scary place to live in.

It's scary to think how humans like that lives amongst us. What if slowly we all become like them? Slowly the humans of the world become less and less human. When we start to lack human qualities of compassion and mercy.

What a world it would be :)

It's like a disease spreading. Instead of us becoming zombies like in those horror movies, we become less human.

Merdeka 2010.

Merdeka. I think we're losing the meaning of it and we're taking things for granted. Taking this easiness of life for granted. And sadly no subject we learn, no song we sing, no essay we write will remind us of the hardship because, WE did not go through it. As much as everyone wants us to celebrate this day of independence with patriotisme, I don't think it'll happen. Satu Malaysia. Sure, it's a great vision but will this vision become reality? Will one day, all of us be able to put our race aside? We're all racist to a certain extent. It's just the way it is and I dont think that'll ever stop. Maybe it'll get better gradually through time, maybe. But, what's this I hear on the radio about how Malaysia isn't racist and how we're SATU MALAYSIA. When our country has had controversial race issues? I just think we're going way over the top with this Malaysia-is-so-good-we-are-not-racist motto. :)

But, hey, Satu Malaysia, if it can be reality, that'll be great. I do support it but I just think its not gonna happen anytime soon.

What I want.

I've been watching Make It or Break It, and seriously, i'm hooked! The way the girls train and have something to work for, just really amazes me. I wish I felt as passionate towards something as them. Watching the show reminds me of tennis. It's just that, it must be nice to know what you want and really work for it. The way they train, omg. Its so fun :(

X.

Figured everything out?

As a teenager, I can't help to wonder about my future. Lately, it's probably the most thought of thing for me. I've been planning, researching. I've seem to have everything, well for the most part at least figured out. I can't help to wonder though, will everything work out as planned or will an unexpected event occur to change my decisions?

At times, I guess it's also scary to think of the future. We don't really know what we're getting ourselves into -but then again, that sometimes could be very exciting too. I mean, if everything was planned out and if we knew our story cover to cover, where's the fun in that?

I'm only a 16 year old and others may think I'm getting way over my head here planning for the future, but I think it's important to set our priorities straight and really choose which direction would lead us to as much happiness.

All I know is, i'm pretty much excited for what the future holds for me.