Her story.

While she sits there, on her bed, alone, lots of things goes through her mind.

What happened to me? Why am I so jaded all of a sudden? Where's my friends? Since when have I become a one man army? Why do I keep these feelings inside me? I'm counting down the days to when I'm going to explode.

Barely a year has passed, and everything's all different now. Good or bad, it has not been defined.

She opens her window, and find it's a perfect evening outside. The suns up, blue sky, fluffy white clouds. The sounds of giggling kids and chirping birds fills the room.

So many questions she wants to be answered. She's learning to be patient. She's waits now for she's learned that time will reveal the answers eventually.

X.

Made my mistakes, let you down.

June is coming to and end. July is coming. My eyes are watery. I have a running nose. My hair is wet. My fingers are numb. My toes are freezing. My windows are open. I haven't finished my book I bought a couple weeks back. I might be starting tennis back. I wanna take ballet seriously. I just killed a mosquito. I'm chatting with Kierien. He had to go. Now I'm chatting with no one. I just opened my iTunes. My iTunes library is ugly. I have school tomorrow. I haven't twittered. I'm listening to Beautiful Love by The Afters. There's this bird that lives in my moms homemade bird house, it's chirrping reallly loud. I think I'm falling sick. I'm not texting right now. I can't wait for Hald Blood Prince to come out. I've read it like 5 and a half times. BELIEVE IT, BITSHES. I'm singing. I just recieved an email from Twitter. I'm wearing red and white polka dotted pants and a Just Do It shirt. I just got a text from Sulaiman. He says he's bored. I replied, me too. Sad face. It's 6:34. My school bag is full of papers and no books. I'm not going to tuition which means, no Twisties and Lipton Ice Tea today.

Where are you these days? :(


X.

And you picked me.

Hello there.

Today was different. I realised something. I no longer have 'close' friends. Or maybe I do, I just prefer not to? Idk. The thing is, this whole year, I started to keep things to myself. I'm pretty much distant to some friends whom I was very close to previously. It's weird.

When I was in Hartamas, I use to be in a group. I use to deny it being a group, but now I think about it, it was. If the whole group were to not attend school on that day, it would be total hell for me for I would have no one to hang out with and I didn't like being alone. Afraid of being alone.

But now, it's all different. Weirdly, I've made new friends from Hartamas and somehow now I barely keep in touch with the people in the group.

Last time, if I were to go somewhere, I'd have to make sure people from the group were going. Now, I don't mind going places alone and making friends.

I don't even mind being alone. Heck, I go to malls and walk around alone more times this year than I go to malls with friends.

I've made more friends from Hartamas now than when I was studying in Hartamas. Lol.

Funeyh.

X.

:)

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson.

Ain't No Sunshine. Another Part of Me. Bad. Beat It. Ben. Billie Jean. Black or White. Blood on the Dance Floor. Butterflies. Come Together. Cry. D.s. Dangerous. Dirty Diana. Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough. Earth Song. Ease on Down the Road. Get it. The Girl is Mine. Girlfriend. Give In to Me. Gone Too SOon. Go to Be There. History/Ghosts. Happy. Heal the Worlds. Human Nature. I Just Can't Stop Loving You. I Wanna Be Where You Are. In the Closet. Jam. Just a Little bit of You. Leave Me Alone. Liberian Girl. Man in the Mirror. Off the Wall. One Day in Your Life. One More Chance. PYT (Pretty Young Thing). Remember the Time. Rock with You. Rockin' Robin. Say Say Say. Scream/Childhood. She's out of My life. Smile. Smooth Criminal. Stranger in Moscow. Tell Me I'm Not Dreamin'. They Don't Care About Us. Thriller. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'. The Way you Make Me Feel. We Are the World. We're Almost There. What more Can I give. Who Is It. Why. Will You Be There. With a Child's Heart. You Are Not Alone. You Can't Win. You Rock My.


R.I.P Michael Jackson.
(August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)

Memories: Singing along to Michael Jackson's songs in one of those long drives.

Yo, bitsh.

Hello there.

It amazes me how someone can lie that much about their lives. I mean, dude, seriously. If you wanna lie, make sure you bloody know how to. You can't change the story in five minutes. That's just plain stupid. I swear, your lies and your act of being so superior is just plain stupid. I'm sick of it. I don't show it, but hell I feel it.

Ugh. Get a life lah.

ANYWAY, school was fine. :)

I'm out. NIGHTS.

Chatting with Azhar. Damn I miss that boy. Lol.

X.

Time eventually pulls you in.

(Picture taken by Johan Ariff).

It's almost gonna be July soon. Another month closer to another year.

Times seriously passes by fast. I don't even remember the things I did this month. Or last month. Or the month before that! And these days I feel like I'm doing nothing. Literally nothing. I go to school, come back, study, tv, tuition, come back, sleep. That's my daily cycle right there. Every time I see my parents,

"Nana, go study." or "Why aren't you studying?!", etc.

I'm sick of hearing this. Like ohmygod, by you telling me this, won't make a difference. For once, I feel like I'm a messed up teenager. I may not look like it. But I feel like it. Inside. I swear, this year is so stressful.

It's also like I'm watching myself go through this year from a window. I'm just watching myself from the outside of this window. I see her- me doing the same mistakes over and over again, and I think, 'Doesn't she realise?'. As much as I try to get her attention to tell her her mistakes, I can't. She can't hear me. We're two different person in the same mind of a person.

Sigh.

ANYWAY, school's been a whole lot better. Which I'm finally glad to say.

Oh, and ballet concert was.. HAHA. First dance was like total wtf. :P Second dance was mleh. :)

I haven't been blogging. I know. Will start blogging often soon. I promise.

X.

p/s: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATHIRAH >:)

Birthday girl.

GUESS WHOSE BIRTHDAY IT WAS TODAY?

HEHEHHEHEHEHHEHE.

Thanks to those who wished me :)

XX

S O R R Y

Hello there. Sorry for the lack of udpates. I haven't really been using my laptop much. Why? Too lazy. Which is weird, I know. I mean, last time I couldn't bare not going online for a whole day, but now I can. Which is shocking but relieving to know that my I can live without internet :D

My results are H O R R I B L E. Need to start studying full blast.

Science: 86% (IT SHOULD BE 89! But, long and sad story) (A)
Math: 53% (LIKE HOMG !) (D)
Malay studies: 66% (HEHE) (c)
History: 63% (GAH !) (c)
Geography: 48% (Expected) (E)
English: 80% (VERY dissapointed) (B)
Livings skills: 45% (Nana tak suka lah) (E)
Agama Islam: 44% (Im proud) (E)


Will update soon. Hang in there :)

5 years.

Hello everybody, clap your hands!

Hehe. Hello. Missed me? So, it's been exactly a week since I've last blogged. Due to- as you all know, MSSM in Kuching, Sarawak.

I know I said it was gonna be horrible and boring this year,
but well, I WAS DEAD WRONG.

Hellz yeah, bitsh! It was awesome. Sure, the hotel was bloody crappy, but who cares? So, the toilet was freaking disgusting. BIG DEAL. Phfsh.

Although this year the KL team didn't do well compared to the previous years, it was still fun. The people made it fun.

Endless screaming, shouting, bitching. Sigh. Typical MSSM :)

There were bitch fits and as usual there was that 'someone' who is hated and is bitched about through out the whole week. What would MSSM be without it though, right?

Since there were a lot of newcomers this year, I made lots of new friends. Some I hated, some I liked very much. Ok fine, only one I didn't like. The rest were awesome.

Oh, and may I add that U12 boys this year, IS JUST SO ADORABLE? Sigh.

And, this guy name Michael got bullied. He got bullied bad. HAHA. Sigh. Pity him. He's a nice fellow though. Just a bit, yea'know. Lol.

My room was practically late for everything. Everyone always had to wait for us. We are always last to go into the bus. Once, we were suppose to be in the bus at 6:30, and we were still asleep. Everyone was on the bus and we were sleeping. Then Coach Rahim banged on our door at 6:45 asking us all to wake up. HEHE. And, today everyone was on the bus at 7:30, we JUST woke up. Thanks to Ren Ling's mom. Sigh.

Also, some of us were in serious trouble for different things. 12 people to be exact. We may be blacklisted for MSSM. NOOOOO. :( What did I do? Stayed in the boys room till 3 something. Sigh. The rest for different things like going out of the hotel and shit.

Team members of MSSM 2009:

U12 boys
- Abdullah (Super cute. I bet he'll be super hot when he grows up).
- Anas (SUPER annoying. Hell of a tennis player though. Keep it up).
- Amir (HE IS LIKE OHMYGOD cute. Sigh. Too cute lah. Tak tahan).
- Jonathan (Voice damn annoying. But cute. Chipmunk. Lol).

[ I don't remember the fifth player :( ]

U12 girls
- Athilia (Quiet and super duper pretty).
- Jia yi (Good tennis player and nice).
- Jia Xiau (Idk how to spell her name. SUPER DUPER CUTE).
- Kathijah (HAHAHA. Abdullahhhhhhh).

[I don't know the fifth players name :( ]

U15 boys
- Kevin (Super mean. And nice. Haha).
- Ryan (SUPER NICE. Lol).
- Gao Jye (The person who laugh after every sentence).
- Michael (I pity you, dude. But you're nice).
- Fauzan (HAHAHAHA. Janeeee! :P)

U15 girls
- Theiviya (SUPER DUPER HELL OF A TENNIS PLAYER, WEYHHH).
- Shareena (HI SHER. Hehee) :)
- Archana (Super nice!)
- Akshara (No comment).

U18 boys
- Ammar (HAHA).
- Marcus (I like your patrick shirt).
- Kenneth (Hell of a bastard to rape her. HAHAHA. Inside joke). :P
- Julian (Niceee).
- Anwar (Nice? I guess).

U18 girls
- Ren Ling (Super nice. I swear).
- AMANDAAAAAAA (Ape mendee laaaa. Bitsh') :P
- Faridah (Quiet).
- Tameesha (Nice?).
- Desiree (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA. No comment).


In conclusion, my fifth year in MSSM is just as awesome as the other years.

1st year, I was 11 - Seremban, Negeri Sembilan (GOLD U12).
2nd year, I was 12- Melaka (GOLD U12).
3rd year, I was 13- Ipoh (BRONZE U15) -Not sure-
4th year, I was 14- Penang (GOLD U15).
5th year, I am 15- Kuching, Sarawak (Silver U15).

I LOVE YOU ALL. And, this makes me feel like starting back tennis. HEHE. :)

X.

p/s: Pictures will be up soon as soon as I get them. Thank you.
-Nana.