Monday, October 25

Death

Ever since we were old enough our parents has told us that one day, we will face death. Everyone dies. That's just the way it is, our parents would tell us when we'd question them why. Though I guess then, we didn't really understand the meaning or the impact of death because we wouldn't really feel the grief of losing someone cause we weren't really attached to anyone... yet.

Death. Heaven. Hell. Something we are all fully aware of. I guess every religion believes in this? -or most? I'm not sure. The only thing thats different in every religion is how you achieve in getting to heaven. What you have to do in order to be able to be accepted in heaven.

"Everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die".

I read that somewhere and that quote is spot on. But why are we all afraid of death? Probably because we don't know what is to happen to us after death.

I know I will die one day. I know that. - but yet I can't imagine myself.. dead. Where will I be? What state would I be in? Will I still remember everything..? Will I feel lonely? Because I don't have anyone there? ... so many questions that definitely can't be answered by anyone. Which I guess what makes death so scary for me. It's totally an unknown subject to anyone.

Sure, it is briefly explained on where one will go after death in the al-quran. But.. it's not specific, there's still that little bit of doubt.

Everyone thinks their religion is the RIGHT religion. But how do you know for sure? For example in my religion it is stated that non muslims go straight to hell and has no chance of getting in heaven. Which is a bit over the top don't you think? What if that person is a GENUINELY a good person, what, just because that person isn't a muslim, that person is sent straight to hell to mingle with rapists and people who are down right evil?

It isn't their fault they're not a muslim. They weren't born a muslim. If I wasn't born a muslim, I don't think I would have converted. Truthfully speaking because I wouldn't think twice about researching about the religion because I would have thought MY religion that I was born with was the right religion. Like I am thinking now.

Sigh.

Yes these are the kinda things that goes through my mind half of the time.

Sunday, October 10

LETS LONGBOARD!



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Somethings wrong with me.

I read, hear people write, talk about how they love their life and how they want time to stop so they can just stay where they are and i'm like w t f. I'm jealous of these people. These people who are so content with their life they wouldn't mind just. staying. there. Me? I'd do anything for time to pass by quickly. Sigh. I'm so confused for next year. Am I changing schools? Am i gonna start to study? jhgfdsrewij! Thinking about the future stresses me. Thinking about NOW stresses me out even more! I don't like where I am right now and I want time to pass quickly to a time where I would want time to stop. I'd like to just "go with the flow", which is what I've been trying to do but, I just simply can't. I find myself asking so many questions and wondering about things I know I shouldn't if I wanna just "go with the glow".

Sigh. Suck it up, Nana. You're just... going through a slump? :\ Haih.

2011, I pray to god you'll be better. Or.. maybe after finals, everything will turn out to be okay?

-But see thats the thing. Nothing significant happened to me that would make my life not okay. Like death of a family member, or anything. Nothing is bad. In theory, my life should be just dandy. But yet I feel so miserable.

Everything's okay. So why don't I feel okay?