If you could be a number.

Regrets. What is “regret”? It’s one of the many emotions humas go through. Regret is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviours. Regret is often related to the feeling of sadness, shame, embarrassment, depression, annoyance, or simply- guilt.

I’m pretty sure everyone at one point or anything has gone through the feeling of regret. Regret in my opinion is one of the worst emotions of them all. The feeling of wishing, wanting, hoping to be able to go back into time to undo a mistake which obviously is inevitable.

Like every other thing in life, regret comes in all sizes. The bigger the mistake you have done, well, the bigger your regret. Regrets are usually only triggered once your mistake is over and done with. When that glass that once used to be whole shatters into million pieces. When suddenly all you can think of was that second, minute, hour- that moment that you decided to do something that you’d regret for the rest of your life. With every heart beat and ever step you take the guilt and misery is reminded.

Now when the regret is that big, this is when the poor troubled teen decides to cut the misery short by using the oldest solution in the book. –Committing suicide.

Now, we don’t want that now do we folks?

So how does one overcome this sad emotion? How does one win the battle with regret?

Well first things first. You have to forgive yourself and make amends. Assure yourself that you have learned from the mistake and won’t be stupid enough to repeat history. Second thing, you have to be willing to accept the circumstances. Avoid blaming others but rather take the responsibility for anything that you could have handled. Now next, you have to deal with toxic relationships. Sometimes other people are the cause of us to be in such depth of regret. So patch things up and once again, learn to forgive. Lastly, you have to grieve for your regrets. When we feel regret, we re-live the guilt, sadness or anger over and over again. Allowing ourselves to experience these feelings fully with the intention of moving forward can help us revisiting them.

Regret. Once again, like every other thing in life, it can be beaten. All you need is a little guidance, acceptance and will power.

Fuck, i wish it was that easy.

Not good.

I think I'm an emo child this year.

Parents are pretty much freaking out at how much I'm not studying this year. Bad year to suddenly stop caring, Nana. Honestly! It's form four. Sigh.

Dear Nana,
Please care.

Anyway,

Where are you? :(

For all the broken hearted's out there.

I feel lost. Lost than ever before. Maybe this is part of growing up?

Yesterday while I was writing an essay having to describe a little about myself, I came to realize that I had nothing to write. Everything I would have normally wrote about myself was no longer valid since I've already given up on it. I couldn't find a single thing worth writing about myself.

I spent three hours starring at the empty paper thinking of what to write. It was a pretty simple task, really. Write about yourself. What could possibly be so hard, Nana?, I thought to myself.

So I began writing. I wrote my Name and age. What else would I write now? I sat down thinking to myself. Probably something describing me. So then my mind thought of what described me best. The first thing that came to my mind was sports. I've always been into sports. One sport in particular, tennis. So I wrote about tennis, then I came to realize that I no longer did tennis. So I scratched that out.

Next, i thought, oh maybe music. Then, oh wait, no. No music.

Okay, maybe studies. Wait no, my studies are horrible this year.

Dance. Yes dance. Ballet. But I didn't feel like writing it cause I knew I wasn't very good at ballet and don't really give it much thought.

I became frustrated. Frustrated at myself for giving up on everything. Because now, I have no idea what describes me anymore. I had no I dea what to write.

So fuck it. I don't know who I am.

I feel like I haven't achieved anything in my 16 years of life. Great.

Arts, photography, sports, books, music, dance without a doubt still inspires me. But the only thing is, instead of pursuing in doing these things, I'm slacking off at home.

Boo 16 year old Nana.

Tennis.

I've come to realize that I miss tennis. I miss the tournaments. The people. The waiting. The training. The losing. The want of rain so I dont have to play tennis. Ugh. I miss it. :( I wish I could start back.. but It's merely pointless. Idk. Maybe I will. Idk :)

What do you want to be when you grow up, Nana?

Bila Nana besar nanti, Nana nak jadi writer. Nana nak jadi photographer. Nana nak jadi magazine art director. Nana nak jadi kaya. Nana nak jadi sihat walafiat. Nana nak jadi seorang yang baik hati then pemurah. Nana tak nak sesat jalan dan ke arah tak bagus. Nana nak ada banyak kawan. Nana harap kawan kawan karib Nana skrg, nanti dalam masa depan masih kawan karib Nana. Nana nak kahwin bila besar. Nana nak ada anak. Nana nak sambung belajar di luar negara. Nana nak ke seluruh negara. Nana nak buat nama untuk diri sendiri. Nana bila besar nanti nak main tennis lagi. Nana tak nak merokok. Nana tak nak minum arak. Nana tak nak.. uh yeah :P

THE END :) YAYYY

Love poison

Hello! :) So I'll be going to Perlis tomorrow till the 11th. See you then! Heh. I like the picture above! The lighting looks epiccc. Okay, maybe not so, but... yeah. :\

So me and Aisyah are going to NYC in the future. Yes, we will. And no, not LA. HEEEE.

She's talking to me through the FB chat. How annoying! Its goes bloop! every time she says something :p

ANYWAY, there's pretty much nothing to blog about.

klahbyeeee.

X

Lets sing love songs in the rain.

Okay, so hey :) Mid Year Examinations has been over for about two weeks now. Haven't really gone to school since, so I don't really know how's my results, and frankly I can't be fucked. Cause I know it ain't good! :) Oh well, that's what happens when you don't study right? Lesson learnt, lets move on. So, this week is the MSSM training. It's held at Titiwangsa this year instead of the usual- at Jalan Duta. Anyway, this year's MSSM is hosted by Perlis. Sigh. Nothing much there. :\ Not quite excited. I have my reasons.

So I've finished 3 books in a week. Can't seem to go through my fourth one. Been having these headaches and stuff. Or maybe I'm just not in the mood anymore? Whatever, I better finish the fourth book BEFORE this Saturday so I can buy two new ones :) Heh.

<3