Friday, November 26
Tuesday, November 23
Clarity
Flying off next week for two weeks. Excited? Haha, you could say that.
Hope your holidays are going good.
X.
The wall
I remember it once being broken. My wall for the first time was finally out of the way, I was free from hiding, and I fully believed. I was happy. Or so I thought. Life's funny that way, it sometimes plays tricks on us. Making us think we're happy when we're actually in such misery. We're so oblivious with whats happening because on paper, this is what everybody's looking for. Naivety takes over us. We swallow in our doubts and fears. For that brief moment of the very short chapter of my life, you made me happy. But the chapter ended and as a conclusion I made you a regret. A mistake.
As the story continued itself after that chapter which I tried so hard to erase, but of course failed, I began to build that wall you suceded to break.
The wall is as new as ever now. It guards a shattered and fragile soul.
But now, I realize, as someone tries once again to bring the wall down, what the wall's been guarding all along, isn't as wounded as I thought.
A new chapter is beginning. Only a few words written, but yet I find myself excited to read more.
Believing again is just apart of the story. Every chapter ends, I can only hope this one doesn't end the same.
X.
As the story continued itself after that chapter which I tried so hard to erase, but of course failed, I began to build that wall you suceded to break.
The wall is as new as ever now. It guards a shattered and fragile soul.
But now, I realize, as someone tries once again to bring the wall down, what the wall's been guarding all along, isn't as wounded as I thought.
A new chapter is beginning. Only a few words written, but yet I find myself excited to read more.
Believing again is just apart of the story. Every chapter ends, I can only hope this one doesn't end the same.
X.
Sunday, November 21
Sunday, November 14
MAMBU
They have now opened a new site, http://www.mambuboards.com/ .
Do check it out if interested :)
One sentence could change everything.
"I don't even think you believe in god". - Dad.
He didn't even say it in a serious tone. He just said it in midst of a NORMAL-EVERYDAY-HOW-WAS-YOUR-DAY conversation. I pretended like I didn't hear him say that.
I guess lately I have been thinking a lot about religion, god, faith, and what to believe in and I'm here to state that I have no doubt about my religion. I believe in certain aspects of it and I admit I do tend to wonder about some. Is it wrong though to be curious? To wonder and to state and opinion?
Maybe it is wrong in this religion. Or in any religion I suppose. -Because in every religion there will be a lot of questions that simply can't be answered. Some things just can't be explained in religion.
I've come to realize in religion, sometimes all we need is Faith.
He didn't even say it in a serious tone. He just said it in midst of a NORMAL-EVERYDAY-HOW-WAS-YOUR-DAY conversation. I pretended like I didn't hear him say that.
I guess lately I have been thinking a lot about religion, god, faith, and what to believe in and I'm here to state that I have no doubt about my religion. I believe in certain aspects of it and I admit I do tend to wonder about some. Is it wrong though to be curious? To wonder and to state and opinion?
Maybe it is wrong in this religion. Or in any religion I suppose. -Because in every religion there will be a lot of questions that simply can't be answered. Some things just can't be explained in religion.
I've come to realize in religion, sometimes all we need is Faith.
Monday, November 1
Fragility
Humans are only made of flesh and bone. Flesh. Bone. We are beyond fragile. One little cut of the skin, and blood starts to unleash itself. Ever wondered how fast it would take for yourself to die? For your soul to depart itself from your body?
When I'm at high grounds I've always wondered how it would feel like to jump off. To just forget everything and, jump. How fast would it take before I really die? How would the impact feel when I touch the ground? Would it be painless because I would have died long before reaching the ground? After 16 years of living on this earth, all it takes it just one jump to end it. End everything.
When I'm in the car I imagine myself opening the car door and leaping out of the car. Would I get instantly smashed by car? Or would I fall on the road first then get run over by a car instead?
I'm not a fan of those slow deaths though. I don't get people who commit suicide and choose to do it by slitting their wrist. They like the pain probably. They feel alive when they feel pain. Not a fan, not a fan. I'd much rather just die from one doing of an act. Like jumping off a building or jumping out of a car.
It's scary to think that one act could end your life. Just like that. In just a split of a second you could no longer be alive. Just one act, could end everything you've been working for on this earth.
No, I'm not suicidal. I just want to point out how easy one could lose their life.
Anyone around you at any moment could kill you.
So is it worth it to try very hard to succeed in life when you know at any moment you could die?
Or maybe the fact that you know you could die, that god could take your live away at any moment, makes you always aware and always ready to go.
Making sure to always be in gods good list, JUST INCASE he decides to take you away.
Because what if at that moment you died, you were in gods bad list. God wouldn't care that you've always been in his good list before. Its now that matters.
:\ wtf is wrong with me.
When I'm at high grounds I've always wondered how it would feel like to jump off. To just forget everything and, jump. How fast would it take before I really die? How would the impact feel when I touch the ground? Would it be painless because I would have died long before reaching the ground? After 16 years of living on this earth, all it takes it just one jump to end it. End everything.
When I'm in the car I imagine myself opening the car door and leaping out of the car. Would I get instantly smashed by car? Or would I fall on the road first then get run over by a car instead?
I'm not a fan of those slow deaths though. I don't get people who commit suicide and choose to do it by slitting their wrist. They like the pain probably. They feel alive when they feel pain. Not a fan, not a fan. I'd much rather just die from one doing of an act. Like jumping off a building or jumping out of a car.
It's scary to think that one act could end your life. Just like that. In just a split of a second you could no longer be alive. Just one act, could end everything you've been working for on this earth.
No, I'm not suicidal. I just want to point out how easy one could lose their life.
Anyone around you at any moment could kill you.
So is it worth it to try very hard to succeed in life when you know at any moment you could die?
Or maybe the fact that you know you could die, that god could take your live away at any moment, makes you always aware and always ready to go.
Making sure to always be in gods good list, JUST INCASE he decides to take you away.
Because what if at that moment you died, you were in gods bad list. God wouldn't care that you've always been in his good list before. Its now that matters.
:\ wtf is wrong with me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)