He's gone. Everything ended so abruptly and fast, I dont even know whether the breakup has hit me or if it hasn't. If this is how I feel, then, how was it ever love?
I always thought the end for me and him to be hard. Why isn't it? Or is it? I dont even know.
Maybe I'm blinded by the company I have. My other family. Haha, if so, big thanks to them.
I dont know what i'm doing. I can't see the bigger picture.
Not to say that i'm unhappy with where i am now, cause in fact, i actually do like where i am. Everything's chilled and OKAY. -but like i said, i can't seem to see the bigger picture of what i'm doing.
I've been avoiding this question for awhile, but how long can i stall it? It isn't fair to both parts. I want to be frank and be straight and just ask. -but i'm scared and too confused to handle the answer.
I wish things were easy, I wish I could just go with the flow, but my thoughts are making me hard to do it. My messed up thoughts.
Another thing is, I miss so many people, but i'm afraid it wont be the same between us and that would break my heart.
I feel like i've lost my high school friends. I was sure our group will be one of those that stuck up till even after high school, but i guess i was wrong. I know its probably my fault its so, but I cant help feel outcasted? I dont know. I miss them though. That I know.
Everything's changed, including myself.. How've I changed, i dont know. -but i'm sure I have. I can feel it. I didn't think it possible, but i've become more cynical. What a shame.
I dont think I'm lovable. I'm too hard to understand. How many people can put up with me? The real me. Whoever that is. Not many, I assure that.
I think the reason behind me being afraid to ask myself is cause I dont think he knows what he's getting himself into and also cause I think i'm just another girl. My fate will be the same as the last few girls. So i'm thinking, i dont want to know how i feel. That way, whatever happens, im safe.
My thoughts are everywhere. I give up. I hate this.