Adaptations.

Another Friday. Got mengaji later. School was fine. I guess.

I'm totally freaking out. MSSKL tennis this Monday. It'll be such a bummer since Yazmin isn't playing. And, and I haven't trained in- what? 4/5 monts? Eff la. I'm so not gonna get to go to Semi's or Quarters. And, I won't be chosen for MSSM and I won't get to go to Sarawak. Eff this.

Sometimes I wish I never stopped tennis but sometimes I prefer not playing tennis. GAH. I'm so confused. I feel like I've lost apart of me. Tennis use to define me in some ways.

It's too late to start tennis again though. AND DONT YOU DARE SAY ITS NEVER TO LATE. Cause it is. In many ways. I've stopped. And there's nothing I can do about it. So I'm going lose. and I'm not going to be on the MSSM KL team this year. but, I CHOSE THIS. I knew this would happened when I chose to stop training.

SO NANA WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET WITH YOURSELF?

"It's just tennis la".

Eff you. I wish tennis to me was just tennis to me. But I guess it never was just tennis to me.

So sure, even when I use to train I was never THAT good, but seriously, now without any training, it's as though all my training before this NEVER HAPPENED. I'm that sucky now. Like BudakBaruBelajar tennis.

This is so frustrating.

I'm not feeling my blogskin. I needa change it soon.