I need a save button to everything I think of.
RIGHT CLICK, SAVE AS.
Tuesday, January 11
Click save.
I hate it when I think of something I want to do, write, paint, or whatever, and the next minute I'd have to think really really REALLY hard of what it was. Just a minute after :( I need a book where I write down absolutely EVERYTHING I think of. So I don't forget. Life is hard.
I need a save button to everything I think of.
I need a save button to everything I think of.
Sunday, January 2
A new year?
So it's the 2nd of January. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AISYAH :)
How was my New Years Eve? Wasn't what I planned, but a great one none the less. Didn't get to celebrate it with the Sri Gardeners but instead, I spent it with Hartamasians at Curve. Don't really have an exciting story from that night, didn't do anything crazy or whatever. So thats, that.
2 days into the year, how do I feel? BLEH. I feel bleh. All that hope jazz, yah, that's pretty much gone. In it's place now is fear. Why fear? Fear of SPM, of course. I slacked so so much last year, it's pretty much like sending a form 3 to form 5. I've got form 4 and form 5 to learn in ... 11 months ish. Holy crap.
This year, like every other year, I pledge to myself to be more organized. Of course every year I fail, but lets hope this year's different :)
I've got so many new notebooks for this year, it's mental. I don't even know what to use them for. Starting tuitions soon. Um, can't wait? Totally.
Till next time,
x.
How was my New Years Eve? Wasn't what I planned, but a great one none the less. Didn't get to celebrate it with the Sri Gardeners but instead, I spent it with Hartamasians at Curve. Don't really have an exciting story from that night, didn't do anything crazy or whatever. So thats, that.
2 days into the year, how do I feel? BLEH. I feel bleh. All that hope jazz, yah, that's pretty much gone. In it's place now is fear. Why fear? Fear of SPM, of course. I slacked so so much last year, it's pretty much like sending a form 3 to form 5. I've got form 4 and form 5 to learn in ... 11 months ish. Holy crap.
This year, like every other year, I pledge to myself to be more organized. Of course every year I fail, but lets hope this year's different :)
I've got so many new notebooks for this year, it's mental. I don't even know what to use them for. Starting tuitions soon. Um, can't wait? Totally.
Till next time,
x.
Sunday, December 26
December wishes.
December's a month of hope.
As the end of December draws closer, we all catch ourselves setting our hopes and dreams for next year.
31st December 2010. 1st January 2011. Just a day difference but a huge impact to people.
It's amazing how a new year can really make anyone feel like they can change. Like its a new beginning. Like, there's hope to change your life for the better.
A new year, makes it seem like anythings possible. Like whatever happened this year shall be left in a closed book, titled as 2010 and that's the end of it.
Every December, I get all excited for the new year to come. I set goals and am determined to achieve them. I start to believe in myself.
I guess coming into a new year is like stepping into a new book where everything's blank and pure and not having our sins in the same book gives us hope to start over.
I love December because It's a time where everyone actually believes that they can achieve anything next year.
What are my goals for next year?
To be a better person.
As the end of December draws closer, we all catch ourselves setting our hopes and dreams for next year.
31st December 2010. 1st January 2011. Just a day difference but a huge impact to people.
It's amazing how a new year can really make anyone feel like they can change. Like its a new beginning. Like, there's hope to change your life for the better.
A new year, makes it seem like anythings possible. Like whatever happened this year shall be left in a closed book, titled as 2010 and that's the end of it.
Every December, I get all excited for the new year to come. I set goals and am determined to achieve them. I start to believe in myself.
I guess coming into a new year is like stepping into a new book where everything's blank and pure and not having our sins in the same book gives us hope to start over.
I love December because It's a time where everyone actually believes that they can achieve anything next year.
What are my goals for next year?
To be a better person.
Friday, November 26
Tuesday, November 23
Clarity
Flying off next week for two weeks. Excited? Haha, you could say that.
Hope your holidays are going good.
X.
The wall
I remember it once being broken. My wall for the first time was finally out of the way, I was free from hiding, and I fully believed. I was happy. Or so I thought. Life's funny that way, it sometimes plays tricks on us. Making us think we're happy when we're actually in such misery. We're so oblivious with whats happening because on paper, this is what everybody's looking for. Naivety takes over us. We swallow in our doubts and fears. For that brief moment of the very short chapter of my life, you made me happy. But the chapter ended and as a conclusion I made you a regret. A mistake.
As the story continued itself after that chapter which I tried so hard to erase, but of course failed, I began to build that wall you suceded to break.
The wall is as new as ever now. It guards a shattered and fragile soul.
But now, I realize, as someone tries once again to bring the wall down, what the wall's been guarding all along, isn't as wounded as I thought.
A new chapter is beginning. Only a few words written, but yet I find myself excited to read more.
Believing again is just apart of the story. Every chapter ends, I can only hope this one doesn't end the same.
X.
As the story continued itself after that chapter which I tried so hard to erase, but of course failed, I began to build that wall you suceded to break.
The wall is as new as ever now. It guards a shattered and fragile soul.
But now, I realize, as someone tries once again to bring the wall down, what the wall's been guarding all along, isn't as wounded as I thought.
A new chapter is beginning. Only a few words written, but yet I find myself excited to read more.
Believing again is just apart of the story. Every chapter ends, I can only hope this one doesn't end the same.
X.
Sunday, November 21
Sunday, November 14
MAMBU
They have now opened a new site, http://www.mambuboards.com/ .
Do check it out if interested :)
One sentence could change everything.
"I don't even think you believe in god". - Dad.
He didn't even say it in a serious tone. He just said it in midst of a NORMAL-EVERYDAY-HOW-WAS-YOUR-DAY conversation. I pretended like I didn't hear him say that.
I guess lately I have been thinking a lot about religion, god, faith, and what to believe in and I'm here to state that I have no doubt about my religion. I believe in certain aspects of it and I admit I do tend to wonder about some. Is it wrong though to be curious? To wonder and to state and opinion?
Maybe it is wrong in this religion. Or in any religion I suppose. -Because in every religion there will be a lot of questions that simply can't be answered. Some things just can't be explained in religion.
I've come to realize in religion, sometimes all we need is Faith.
He didn't even say it in a serious tone. He just said it in midst of a NORMAL-EVERYDAY-HOW-WAS-YOUR-DAY conversation. I pretended like I didn't hear him say that.
I guess lately I have been thinking a lot about religion, god, faith, and what to believe in and I'm here to state that I have no doubt about my religion. I believe in certain aspects of it and I admit I do tend to wonder about some. Is it wrong though to be curious? To wonder and to state and opinion?
Maybe it is wrong in this religion. Or in any religion I suppose. -Because in every religion there will be a lot of questions that simply can't be answered. Some things just can't be explained in religion.
I've come to realize in religion, sometimes all we need is Faith.
Monday, November 1
Fragility
Humans are only made of flesh and bone. Flesh. Bone. We are beyond fragile. One little cut of the skin, and blood starts to unleash itself. Ever wondered how fast it would take for yourself to die? For your soul to depart itself from your body?
When I'm at high grounds I've always wondered how it would feel like to jump off. To just forget everything and, jump. How fast would it take before I really die? How would the impact feel when I touch the ground? Would it be painless because I would have died long before reaching the ground? After 16 years of living on this earth, all it takes it just one jump to end it. End everything.
When I'm in the car I imagine myself opening the car door and leaping out of the car. Would I get instantly smashed by car? Or would I fall on the road first then get run over by a car instead?
I'm not a fan of those slow deaths though. I don't get people who commit suicide and choose to do it by slitting their wrist. They like the pain probably. They feel alive when they feel pain. Not a fan, not a fan. I'd much rather just die from one doing of an act. Like jumping off a building or jumping out of a car.
It's scary to think that one act could end your life. Just like that. In just a split of a second you could no longer be alive. Just one act, could end everything you've been working for on this earth.
No, I'm not suicidal. I just want to point out how easy one could lose their life.
Anyone around you at any moment could kill you.
So is it worth it to try very hard to succeed in life when you know at any moment you could die?
Or maybe the fact that you know you could die, that god could take your live away at any moment, makes you always aware and always ready to go.
Making sure to always be in gods good list, JUST INCASE he decides to take you away.
Because what if at that moment you died, you were in gods bad list. God wouldn't care that you've always been in his good list before. Its now that matters.
:\ wtf is wrong with me.
When I'm at high grounds I've always wondered how it would feel like to jump off. To just forget everything and, jump. How fast would it take before I really die? How would the impact feel when I touch the ground? Would it be painless because I would have died long before reaching the ground? After 16 years of living on this earth, all it takes it just one jump to end it. End everything.
When I'm in the car I imagine myself opening the car door and leaping out of the car. Would I get instantly smashed by car? Or would I fall on the road first then get run over by a car instead?
I'm not a fan of those slow deaths though. I don't get people who commit suicide and choose to do it by slitting their wrist. They like the pain probably. They feel alive when they feel pain. Not a fan, not a fan. I'd much rather just die from one doing of an act. Like jumping off a building or jumping out of a car.
It's scary to think that one act could end your life. Just like that. In just a split of a second you could no longer be alive. Just one act, could end everything you've been working for on this earth.
No, I'm not suicidal. I just want to point out how easy one could lose their life.
Anyone around you at any moment could kill you.
So is it worth it to try very hard to succeed in life when you know at any moment you could die?
Or maybe the fact that you know you could die, that god could take your live away at any moment, makes you always aware and always ready to go.
Making sure to always be in gods good list, JUST INCASE he decides to take you away.
Because what if at that moment you died, you were in gods bad list. God wouldn't care that you've always been in his good list before. Its now that matters.
:\ wtf is wrong with me.
Monday, October 25
Death
Ever since we were old enough our parents has told us that one day, we will face death. Everyone dies. That's just the way it is, our parents would tell us when we'd question them why. Though I guess then, we didn't really understand the meaning or the impact of death because we wouldn't really feel the grief of losing someone cause we weren't really attached to anyone... yet.
Death. Heaven. Hell. Something we are all fully aware of. I guess every religion believes in this? -or most? I'm not sure. The only thing thats different in every religion is how you achieve in getting to heaven. What you have to do in order to be able to be accepted in heaven.
"Everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die".
I read that somewhere and that quote is spot on. But why are we all afraid of death? Probably because we don't know what is to happen to us after death.
I know I will die one day. I know that. - but yet I can't imagine myself.. dead. Where will I be? What state would I be in? Will I still remember everything..? Will I feel lonely? Because I don't have anyone there? ... so many questions that definitely can't be answered by anyone. Which I guess what makes death so scary for me. It's totally an unknown subject to anyone.
Sure, it is briefly explained on where one will go after death in the al-quran. But.. it's not specific, there's still that little bit of doubt.
Everyone thinks their religion is the RIGHT religion. But how do you know for sure? For example in my religion it is stated that non muslims go straight to hell and has no chance of getting in heaven. Which is a bit over the top don't you think? What if that person is a GENUINELY a good person, what, just because that person isn't a muslim, that person is sent straight to hell to mingle with rapists and people who are down right evil?
It isn't their fault they're not a muslim. They weren't born a muslim. If I wasn't born a muslim, I don't think I would have converted. Truthfully speaking because I wouldn't think twice about researching about the religion because I would have thought MY religion that I was born with was the right religion. Like I am thinking now.
Sigh.
Yes these are the kinda things that goes through my mind half of the time.
Death. Heaven. Hell. Something we are all fully aware of. I guess every religion believes in this? -or most? I'm not sure. The only thing thats different in every religion is how you achieve in getting to heaven. What you have to do in order to be able to be accepted in heaven.
"Everyone wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die".
I read that somewhere and that quote is spot on. But why are we all afraid of death? Probably because we don't know what is to happen to us after death.
I know I will die one day. I know that. - but yet I can't imagine myself.. dead. Where will I be? What state would I be in? Will I still remember everything..? Will I feel lonely? Because I don't have anyone there? ... so many questions that definitely can't be answered by anyone. Which I guess what makes death so scary for me. It's totally an unknown subject to anyone.
Sure, it is briefly explained on where one will go after death in the al-quran. But.. it's not specific, there's still that little bit of doubt.
Everyone thinks their religion is the RIGHT religion. But how do you know for sure? For example in my religion it is stated that non muslims go straight to hell and has no chance of getting in heaven. Which is a bit over the top don't you think? What if that person is a GENUINELY a good person, what, just because that person isn't a muslim, that person is sent straight to hell to mingle with rapists and people who are down right evil?
It isn't their fault they're not a muslim. They weren't born a muslim. If I wasn't born a muslim, I don't think I would have converted. Truthfully speaking because I wouldn't think twice about researching about the religion because I would have thought MY religion that I was born with was the right religion. Like I am thinking now.
Sigh.
Yes these are the kinda things that goes through my mind half of the time.
Sunday, October 10
LETS LONGBOARD!
Somethings wrong with me.
I read, hear people write, talk about how they love their life and how they want time to stop so they can just stay where they are and i'm like w t f. I'm jealous of these people. These people who are so content with their life they wouldn't mind just. staying. there. Me? I'd do anything for time to pass by quickly. Sigh. I'm so confused for next year. Am I changing schools? Am i gonna start to study? jhgfdsrewij! Thinking about the future stresses me. Thinking about NOW stresses me out even more! I don't like where I am right now and I want time to pass quickly to a time where I would want time to stop. I'd like to just "go with the flow", which is what I've been trying to do but, I just simply can't. I find myself asking so many questions and wondering about things I know I shouldn't if I wanna just "go with the glow".
Sigh. Suck it up, Nana. You're just... going through a slump? :\ Haih.
2011, I pray to god you'll be better. Or.. maybe after finals, everything will turn out to be okay?
-But see thats the thing. Nothing significant happened to me that would make my life not okay. Like death of a family member, or anything. Nothing is bad. In theory, my life should be just dandy. But yet I feel so miserable.
Everything's okay. So why don't I feel okay?
Sigh. Suck it up, Nana. You're just... going through a slump? :\ Haih.
2011, I pray to god you'll be better. Or.. maybe after finals, everything will turn out to be okay?
-But see thats the thing. Nothing significant happened to me that would make my life not okay. Like death of a family member, or anything. Nothing is bad. In theory, my life should be just dandy. But yet I feel so miserable.
Everything's okay. So why don't I feel okay?
Wednesday, September 29
Santa Claus's list.
We live in a world that constantly confuses me. We live in a world with humans in it. Lots of humans. People. People who tend to like to categorize things. Even ourselves. In terms of religion, race, sex, etc.
There is no harm in categorizing, don't get me wrong. But is it necessary to judge BY these categories?
Why can't we be judged -if we have to be judged. , individually? Cause are we not all individuals of different behaviors and state of mind?
For ones mistake, the whole lot gets blamed. The whole lot suffers the consequences. WHY? Because theyre're categorized in the same "group". Therefore they all must be the same.
Stereotypical. Why do people think like this?
When we talk about a person we somehow connect it to their religion, race, sex, etc.
"Muslims are terrorist". (I'm just using this as an example because this is what got me thinking to write about this).
Wtf. Just because there are muslims who are terrorist must you call ALL muslims terrorists? How is that fucking possible? In all races, religion, sex there are GOOD AND BAD people.
I wish people could think like Santa Claus. In his list all he cares about is whether youre GOOD or BAD. No matter what race, religion, sex or whatever. Can you imagine if he takes race, religion or even sex in accounts to his list? That'd be fucked up.
I'm pretty sure god works the same way. Or at least I hope so. All that matters is whether youre genuinely a good person who does good.
Good or bad. That's all that counts.
There is no harm in categorizing, don't get me wrong. But is it necessary to judge BY these categories?
Why can't we be judged -if we have to be judged. , individually? Cause are we not all individuals of different behaviors and state of mind?
For ones mistake, the whole lot gets blamed. The whole lot suffers the consequences. WHY? Because theyre're categorized in the same "group". Therefore they all must be the same.
Stereotypical. Why do people think like this?
When we talk about a person we somehow connect it to their religion, race, sex, etc.
"Muslims are terrorist". (I'm just using this as an example because this is what got me thinking to write about this).
Wtf. Just because there are muslims who are terrorist must you call ALL muslims terrorists? How is that fucking possible? In all races, religion, sex there are GOOD AND BAD people.
I wish people could think like Santa Claus. In his list all he cares about is whether youre GOOD or BAD. No matter what race, religion, sex or whatever. Can you imagine if he takes race, religion or even sex in accounts to his list? That'd be fucked up.
I'm pretty sure god works the same way. Or at least I hope so. All that matters is whether youre genuinely a good person who does good.
Good or bad. That's all that counts.
Tuesday, September 28
Where your heart really is.
Not long a go, one of my teachers told my class and I that we shouldn't give money to people who asks for money (beggars). Why? Because she said it's most probably a scam. I've heard a lot of these warnings before and honestly i'm baffled at the thought of it.
When someone who claims to be a less fortunate person comes and asks for money and you can afford to spare a few bucks for him, WHY THE HELL NOT? Why do you have to be skeptical? IF he's lying, how would you know? You won't.
Why think about the fact that the guy could be a scammer? What do you lose? The same amount of money that you would lose if he wasn't a scammer. Why can't you just help the guy and give him the benefit of the doubt.
If he's lying, -this is gonna sound like i'm so religious, haha. , then let him face it with god when the time comes.
As far as you know, you helped a guy. So feel all warm and fuzzy cause you did a good deed.
Why do we have to be so skeptical? Till the extent that we send warning emails to NOT give money to beggars because they could be scammers.
Benefit of the doubt, people. Benefit of the doubt.
When someone who claims to be a less fortunate person comes and asks for money and you can afford to spare a few bucks for him, WHY THE HELL NOT? Why do you have to be skeptical? IF he's lying, how would you know? You won't.
Why think about the fact that the guy could be a scammer? What do you lose? The same amount of money that you would lose if he wasn't a scammer. Why can't you just help the guy and give him the benefit of the doubt.
If he's lying, -this is gonna sound like i'm so religious, haha. , then let him face it with god when the time comes.
As far as you know, you helped a guy. So feel all warm and fuzzy cause you did a good deed.
Why do we have to be so skeptical? Till the extent that we send warning emails to NOT give money to beggars because they could be scammers.
Benefit of the doubt, people. Benefit of the doubt.
Sunday, September 26
Queen, Absolute Greatest Album.
Favorites from this album: Radio Gaga, Under pressure, Somebody to Love, Bohemian Rhapsody and Don't stop me now.
Not much I can say about this album since, I'm pretty sure all of you guys are familiar with how are their songs are usually like. Very Dramatical.
Album ratings: 5 ☆
Here we go again.
I don't think I can not have a blog. For as long as I can remember, I've always had a blog. Of course my blog started out to be a "what I did today" sort of blog. Gradually though, I realized I had more to say and write about other than what I did on that day. But I still do those sorts of posts on certain days when I feel like it. Sometimes I write about such serious and personal matters that I never post them because I simply don't have the guts to do it. Afraid people might know the real me. But maybe I will. Someday. My blog is like my bed. My comfort zone. A place I know that will always be there when I need it :)
Gullibility
The internet is HUGE. Yes, you can get a lot of information from it, but you can't really believe EVERYTHING you read on the internet because basically anyone can write anything, whether it being the truth or not. So if I tend to not believe you when you tell me things cause you "read it on the internet", don't be surprise. You say Malaysians aren't aware of whats happening in their own country. What? Because we don't believe everything thats written in a forwarded email? You say we're ignorant because we don't use the internet for the right purposes. How about you? Aren't you being ignorant and gullible by believing everything you get through forwarded emails? I mean come on. I may be wrong to a certain extent. But I also know I'm right to a certain extent.
Tuesday, August 31
Proficiency in English.
English. Some are fluent in english and others, not so. But I think it's wrong for people to discriminate people with bad english. Just because you're better in english doesn't mean you're any better of a person. I read peoples formspring and when a person with bad english asks a question the owner of the formspring will reply with such mean remarks on the persons english. The fact that you are better in english do not mean you have the rights to discriminate them. Because there are much more people with better english than you yourself. If you wanna correct their mistakes, fine. No need for, "Nice english.", "Where'd you learn your english?", etc. It may seem like i'm being a hypocrite for writing this, for I have probably done all of them above, but I'm here to say I've come to realise this and no more will I do it. Cause I see it's stupid and mean. Plus, my english isn't even good. So who am I to judge others? :)
Lets longboard!
So if youre feeling like taking up a new sport just for fun, maybe you should try longboarding?! :D It's a fun sport, really. Wanna know more about it? Just search for longboarding videos on youtube, and i'm sure you'll guys wanna start longboarding yourselves. Well thats how I wanted to start longboarding. Through youtube videos -.- Haha, I was obsessed with trying to longboard. Thanks to the videos and my brothers obsession too.
So anyway, my brother and his friend is starting up a longboarding business. Mambu longboards. Their mission is "To promote longboarding and to become the leading provider in Malaysia". Basically they provide some pretty cheap deals for a longboard. Cause, it's actually pretty hard to get longboards here in Malaysia. But have no fear, Mambu Longboards are here. Haha. *sigh. So yeah, visit their Facebook page.
Here's the video that made me want to start longboarding :p One of the first from many, that is.
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